..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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