don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
