It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
