It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
