you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Boobs are out for the taking
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
