i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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