This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It was like giving head to a cactus.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
