Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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