it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
