Whod you bang
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize