Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
