Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
