every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
