This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You ate ashes out of my bong
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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