I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
