Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
