I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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