he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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