You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
