Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
