you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
did you just send me my own nude
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize