I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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