Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The air taste purple.
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