Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
