Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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