soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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