Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
