I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
