you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
