we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
