he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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