So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
