Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
