dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
