Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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