Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
