Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
