we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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