awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
