I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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