your room smells of hookers.
And success
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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