My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Acid is not a monday night drug
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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