Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
