the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
