tell your sister to shave her snatch
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize