She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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