please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Such a big mess for such a small penis
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
