Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
