I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
