even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
