Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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