we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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