Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
