Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
